EXCUSES, EXCUSES & MORE EXCUSES
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The Offspring Community, a rare breed of footwear fanatics, that are known for their unwavering dedication to obsessing over the most coveted grails in the sneaker world.

As soon as we drop a (cactus emoji) on Insta, the passion and comments come flooding through… “this is the one I’ve been waiting for!” you all say! So surely winning a coveted grail on an Offspring raffle is like hitting the jackpot! You’d think right?

We love running our collection days, so often we get good vibes and excitement from yourselves picking up. So, what sometimes really astounds us is the endless supply of excuses behind not collecting your precious prize during the allocated collection days. Sneakerheads conjure up the most outlandish excuses known to mankind.

Bemused and bewildered, it’s a comedy of errors that leaves us at OffspringHQ scratching our heads and wondering, "What on earth will they come up with next?" So, on the recent #Sundaydiscussion we asked the Community “What excuses do you think people would use to not collect?” And of course, you came through, with an onslaught of bizarre explanations!

We’ve compiled and categorised a list of the best excuses, and let’s just say, blaming the wife and your poor pets seems to be a recurring theme. Let’s go!

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THE WIFE

My wife said we are getting a divorce if cop! – ben_10_ldn

My wife is threatening divorce if I get another pair. No really 😂😂😂 – sengyoku

My wife said no more shoes ☹️ – adammusa88

I have been invited to my own wedding, and I need to be there to say Yes I Do. – crepsqueenrei_

My wife says I’ve bought too many pairs this month. – jaywdee77

My partner will destroy my collection if I buy another pair. – zpro_hunter

FAMILY & FRIENDS

Mum said I’m grounded 😂 – sneakerpapi_og

My Mum took my phone 😂 – martina3300

My twin brother hasn’t got a passport, and he used my one to go on holiday and wasn’t in back for the collection time 😂😂 – lew____

I’ve been arrested and not getting released until Monday. Any chance my mum can collect and use my paper copy of my driving licence as ID? 🤣🤣 – benji_james96

I didn’t realise it had to be my size. I was entering for my grandma. It was her last wish to get these shoes. – qadzmix

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PETS & ANIMALS

Sorry my dog ran away with the neighbour’s dog 🤣. He was tired of me copping trainers 🤣🤣🤣🤣 – indiandreadhead

My dog accidentally entered me into the raffle, I didn’t want these 😂 – henry_mchen

My dog ate my Oyster card 😂 – nostraparmus14

My dog ate the pair that you’ve specified I have to wear to collect. – sneakerfreeek

It’s raining cats and dogs outside ☔️ and I’ve been ask to wear white coloured trainers… Can I come on a day it’s sunny? ☀️ – mixie_dee

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Dog got the cat pregnant 🤷🏻‍♂️ – mr7.5uk

My cousin’s friend’s sister’s auntie’s hamster died so I won’t be able to make it x. – yaswhite__

My cat sat on my lap, and I couldn’t get up for collection 🐈 – mocat0

My cats keep fighting and I can’t leave them alone to collect 😂 – saif_idin

Went to the beach and the seagull ate my phone instead of my ice cream. – marium_______

Went hiking and a coyote ate my foot! – wrath_of_raf

PROFIT & LOSS

Sorry I can’t collect, I checked StockX this morning and I can’t make a profit from this pair so I’m not going to bother. – ted.meddickdyson

Sorry guys, these are not reselling for as much as I thought they would of 😡😡😡 – markyboi_fitness

I can’t collect because I can’t justify the price of the train or travel because the resale price doesn’t justify it 😂😂 – st11sneakers I’ve been checking StockX pricing and I didn’t realised this shoe isn’t actually that sought after. It’s not going to get me the clout I wanted by flexing them on my next IG post, so sadly I won’t be collecting them 👀🤦🏻‍♂️😂 – solesensei

I thought they were more limited, so I don’t want them now! – carmichaelgram

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FINANCES

I thought I had enough money but didn’t account for getting to Selfridges and back home 😅🤣 – romes.d94

My bank card got blocked. My dad said I buy too many shoes 👟 – es_f.p

I bet all my money on black! – steven_r000

‘Big bank problem’ 😜 – adi_rahuliio_dassler

My bank account said I cannot buy any more sneakers. – ubhasin90

My boss didn’t pay me on time! – sneaker__source

WINNING MENTALITY

Sorry… entered the raffle but then won the shoe on SNKRS! – YEAH RIGHT! LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS 😂 – lovesneakershatesneakerheads

It was my bot that entered not me… – mrgarf

I thought I wanted them but now I don’t like them because everybody got the W. – lovekickscustom

Sorry but they aren’t as hype as I thought they’d be when I entered! – trainersarealsoforwearing

I copped 10 pairs with my bot, and the resell has tanked so... – tropic74

I’ve got no more space to put em! 😂🤣 – meydurproblem

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FOREIGN SHORES

Sorry my doctor said I really need vitamin D. Sadly I must go on holiday ✈️ ☀️☀️☀️ – stella_loris

I’ve been stranded on an island and the boat only comes by every 3months. – adhillon25

Ah man I’m not in the country right now. I know the raffle post gave me specific dates for collection but is there any chance you can just keep them aside for me? – secondshxrpe

I forgot I don’t live in the UK. – alitronic

I live in Jamaica and entered for fun! – sukhpreetxjuttla

Went out last night and I’ve woken up in Moscow, sorry I won’t be able to make it. – adam_scott24

TRAVEL DISRUPTION

The Eurostar train I was on coming back to London for my collection has only gone an broken down in the tunnel. They said it’ll take 3 business days to get out here to repair it so I’m buggered because it's Friday evening and collection ends Sunday 😂😂😂😂 – sn33k3r__fi3nd

Leaves on the rails so trains are cancelled. – thefamilykick

The tube line I need to get is down for the entire 7 day collection period 😂😂 – kashh54

Car broke down. It’s electric and I’ve had a power cut in my area 😂😂 – vtecvaper

See, what had happened was... my car broke down and there was train strikes for the weekend, so I couldn't make it. – dtdrapes

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LONDON SELFRIDGES

I came to collect but couldn’t find the Offspring store in Selfridges 😂 – mxnivc

Couldn’t find the store. Walked up and down Oxford Street but just couldn’t find the Offspring store 🤣🤣 – thefamilykick

I didn’t know collection was London only. I’ve also checked StockX and the profit would only just cover the train fare so I thought I’d do a good deed, and leave them for someone who really wants them. – danbatch_

I didn’t realise the collection was London 😂 – jackg_350

Can’t believe I won these but I live in Scotland. Way too far for me to travel, any way you guys can send them to me? – morethangreene

Can’t collect bcoz my Boss in FOOTLOCKER doesn’t allow me to go in Offspring!!! 😂 – 1_chad_3

MEDICAL REASONS

My doctor said if I collect them, I will get third degree burns because of the heat 🔥🔥😂😂 – thisisvasleon

I won the raffle but now I need a hip replacement so I can’t make it! – 1one_ranger

I manifested too much and I’ve ended up in A&E. – lucky13kicks

My neighbour got covid 😂 can’t go out. – itsmeduntalan

Sorry my lattie t says I’m positive covid! – fitriatjandra

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I’ve got diarrhoea. Can’t make the collection (verbal diarrhoea more like) 😂 – mrsimpson_87

Lost both my feet gambling 😞 – pleasestopryan

Broken my foot so won’t even be able to wear the sneakers for a while! – sunilkap

Soz, my foot was removed due to necrosis. Currently awaiting prosthetic. Should be sorted by 31st (payday) can I collect then? 🤔 – cassiewassiedoodah

I’ve suddenly come down with a mystery illness that only affects me on the specific days you’ve quoted for collection. I think it’s called the ‘Collection Day Flu’. I should be fine to collect after that, as after the timeframe you’ve given to collect it will suddenly disappear. Honest 😇🤣🙏🏾 – marvlousmarv1

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MYSTERIOUS FEET

My feet have grown since Monday so the pair will no longer fit me anymore. – marshallahsram

I’ve had a growth spurt! – judge.sneakerman

My feet shrunk and I’m no longer a size 8.5/9, I need them bae sizes 🤥🤣 – ricky_stclaire

My feet have shrunk 3 sizes in the past week! And you know what it’s like trying to get an appointment these days. – woolytrends

My feet grew overnight leading to instant size change. Even tho I won an 8, I need a 10.5 now! @offspringhq that’s human nature 🤣🤣 – tankdsneakers

Oh, even though I’m a size 14, I accidently selected 9.5. – willhughes1982

POOR MEMORY

I forgot it was my wedding that weekend. – asher_t3

Oh, it’s collection only? Didn’t know that 😮 – lisamartinoni

No idea. What’s a collection? – simonr555

I lost memory for a couple of weeks, when remembering it, it already passed the collection date! – xiaojia_liang

Forgot my age, I’m only 17 years old 😂. Can’t be able to collect the shoes. – ardhen29

The King Of Trainers Was Supposed To Collect It For Me 👀👀👀🤦🏿‍♂️ – kingoftrainers

I can’t find my house keys 😂 – highkickz_hightimez

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MISSING SHOES

Yeah sorry I can’t find that shoe you need me to wear for collection, left it at my Nan’s friends sisters house… can I wear these instead? – mrjordankahn

I sold the shoe you want me to wear for collection... can I wear a different pair? – king_jason221

Sorry I can’t collect in that pair. I donated that one specific pair to an old lady and her pet unicorn Dave, but I do still have XYZ to wear. – whatfamm

My sneakers, the ones you asked to wear for collection… I forgot them at my holiday house in another country 😂😂😂 #Winner 😂 – di17esh

My ex took the shoes you’re asking me to wear (messy break up) 😂 – kasimy_91

PSYCHIC ENERGY

My horoscope said it wasn’t a good day to leave the house! – eddie__eagle

My mum had a dream, she said it’s not safe for me to go out until Monday👌🏾 – mixie_dee

Sorry, but I cannot collect. I’ve had a reading from a fortune teller that said I’ll have a heart attack if I leave the house this week 🤣 – dont_step_on_my_crep

I’m being held hostage by a ghost 👻 😂 it said no more sneakers. No 1 else can see or hear it 👀💀 – scandrettchris100

The collection encounter could create a time paradox, the result of which could cause a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroy the entire universe! – s_cr1pt

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TECHNOLOGY FAILS

Locked out of my email due to ‘suspicious activity’ 😳 – metrajeperdido

I thought the email was a scam, can I still collect? (4 weeks after the collection window). – randeepkang

My email got lost somewhere in universe and didn’t reach my folders 😭 One day 🤞 – kejjjtiz

I’m sorry I just filled out the entry form for practice for future raffles but then I accidentally hit the submit button. – mistadoov

The email went to an inbox that I didn’t know I had… – jake_allonby

That W email went straight to junk folder, and I didn’t see it…. 😂😂😂😂 – bishy_g

UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

I’ve been deported! – adhillon25

Rishi has called me up for national service so I can’t quite make it to London 🥲 – elliot.waters_

I was crossing the road at the side of Selfridges and got run over by a black cab, so the cabs taken me to St. Thomas’s. Sorry offspring I won’t make it to collect 🤣 – chanbella007

Sorry I can’t make it I’ve been in a car crash. I’m on my way to hospital. (Checks Instagram story sat in Nando’s eating chicken with mild sauce) – andy_0161

My house is on fire can you just send them please 😂🔥 – mrdanderson7

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I accidently slipped and broke my ankle (whilst checking resell values on StockX) – willhughes1982

I can’t collect, I’ve been kidnapped by ninjas, and they won’t release me until they get the ‘krabby patty’ formula. – ceezaur

I accidentally glued myself to the couch! – afro_geezer

I was hit by a lightning strike ⚡️⚡️😂 – bobbylovetrainers

I was cleaning my kitchen and mopped myself into a corner. Just waiting for the floor to dry. – deys7eleven



So, there you have it, folks. The Community’s take on the most ridiculous excuses sneakerheads come up with for not collecting their Offspring wins.

We can’t help but marvel at your sheer ingenuity! 😝 Let’s just hope that next time for real, sneakerheads can come up with something a little more believable. And maybe, just maybe, they can convince their wives and pets to let them add one more pair to their collection.

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OFFSPRING MEETS: @LONDON_SHOSHO
12 June 2024